Change Your Story, Change Your Life: How to Create Lasting Results

Have you ever felt like you were stuck on a loop, starting a diet, losing weight, only to gain it back again? You’re not alone. Many people feel trapped on that same merry-go-round, frustrated by repeated attempts and ready to give up.

The truth is success doesn’t come from the latest food plan or workout trend. The real key to lasting change begins with your mindset. When you shift the way you see yourself and your identity, you begin to rewrite your story and can create results that stick.

As a nurse, board-certified coach, and someone who has walked this road, I can tell you: lasting transformation starts not with what you do, but with who you decide to be. 

Why Most People Stay Stuck

Most people approach change with this formula: Have, Do, Be.

• “When I have the weight off, then I’ll do more fun things, and I’ll be confident.”
• “When I have more time, I’ll do the workouts, and I’ll be healthy.”

It sounds logical, but this approach can keep you stuck. You wait for the results before allowing yourself to live the life you want. Unfortunately, waiting reinforces old habits and old stories, and the cycle repeats. 

The Breakthrough

The formula that actually works is the reverse: Be, Do, Have.

• Be: Decide who you want to be. What identity do you want to claim? What story do you want to live into?
• Do: From that identity, aligned actions naturally follow.
• Have: As a result, you create the outcomes you’ve been chasing.

For example, instead of thinking you would like to lose weight, you might choose to think you are a healthy person who takes care of my body. Suddenly, your choices, for example, what you eat, how you move, and how you prioritize your health flow naturally from that identity. You’re no longer forcing behavior. Over time, as you watch yourself do what you plan, your confidence in who you are and the actions you consistently take increases, and you become secure in your new identity.

Letting Go of Old Stories

This shift often requires releasing the stories that have been holding you back. Perhaps you’ve told yourself that you will always struggle with my weight, thinking it is just too hard.

These aren’t facts. They’re old stories, and they don’t have to define your future. When you challenge those beliefs and replace them with new ones, you open the door to real change. 

Tools to Support Your Be

Here are a few practices that can help you embody a new identity:

• Identity-Based Habits: Align small, daily actions with the person you want to become. For example, planning meals isn’t about restriction, it’s about growing into your identity as someone who honors their health by following their plan.
• Visualization: Spend a few minutes each day picturing your future self. What do you look like? How do you feel? What are you doing? That image can pull you forward when motivation feels low.
• Challenging Beliefs: When old thoughts surface, like you have failed before, pause and ask if it is true, or is it just a story that no longer serves you.

Writing Your New Story

The real breakthrough comes when you stop waiting to have the result and instead choose to be the person you want to become right now. Once you step into that identity, the doing becomes easier and the having naturally follows.

Try this to take your first step today.

• Pick one area where you want change.
• Name the limiting belief that’s been holding you back.
• Choose a new identity and take one small action this week that proves your new story is true.

Changing your story isn’t about pretending—it’s about deciding and acting with intention. The moment you say, “I am someone who prioritizes my health” you step into a powerful new way of being. From there, your actions flow more naturally, and your results last. 

I made a decision that I was going to lose weight for the last time. I lost 120 lbs and have kept them off. I’ve changed my story permanently. If you’ve been waiting for circumstances to change before you act, try flipping the script. Become the person you want to be first. When you shift your identity, you’ll find that transformation you have been searching for will follow.

Sue Brown, RN, MS, MPA, NBC-HWC is a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach who specializes in working with midlife leaders who struggle with their weight. She's worked in a variety of clinical and leadership positions over the years, but it was first after losing and maintaining a 120 lb weight loss that she found her calling as a coach. You can find Sue online at www.suebrowncoaching.com, Facebook and LinkedIn.