Do Toys Hurt a Relationship or Help It?

Have you considered introducing sex toys into your relationship, but fear the move might do more harm than good? It’s a common concern and one that may have some merit. We can help you sort out the details.

Sex toys definitely have the potential to either help or hurt a relationship, depending on how they’re used. They can help women who have a hard time achieving orgasm, and they can help men who need assistance with their erections. Toys can also spice up older routines. But they can harm relationships when they’re overused, causing desensitization, or when one partner begins to feel inadequate due to the other’s extensive use. Let's weigh the risks and benefits.

Potential Benefits

More than half of all women use vibrators, and about 4 out of 10 men have incorporated them in the bedroom at least once. Vibrators can be helpful for women who find it difficult to achieve an orgasm, and they can help with arousal and erection strength in men. Both men and women who use vibrators report benefits to their sex lives.

Toys might help established couples who are looking to stoke older flames. Let’s face it: the same routines can get boring, and lingerie and romantic gestures alone might not always set the heat high enough. AARP recommends trying out different vibrators and penis rings, noting toys can come in especially handy if one or both partners is having issues with performance.

Potential Risks

Vibrators are generally safe for regular use, but they might not be as helpful if you use them all the time or to the exclusion of other types of stimulation. Vice reports that people who use vibrators too often sometimes find they become desensitized, needing more powerful settings to gain the same effect. This can lead to problems during intercourse, with some people finding themselves unable to climax without the added help.

And the risk isn't all physical. In some cases, partners can feel intimidated or jealous over sex toys. For example, if a woman feels the need to finish with a vibrator every time the couple has sex, her partner might feel as if they’re incapable of satisfying her. Feelings of inadequacy can lead to problems with performance and personal satisfaction, which may snowball into even bigger problems in bed, potentially even damaging the relationship.

Are They Right for You?

Every relationship is different, so what works for one might not work for yours. What’s most important is that you and your partner are both open and willing to communicate your needs. There’s no harm in trying something new or different, as long as you’re both willing and open to changing minds over the course of experimentation. The only way to know whether sex toys will benefit your relationship is to give it a shot. Maybe you'll find that one or both of you don't like it. But as long as you're in a relationship that includes open communication, you should be fine to explore.

Sex toys can be a great addition to bedroom fun, but they may subtract from your shared experience if you use them too often or in place of intimacy. Remember to discuss your needs and reservations, to always ask for consent from your partner, and don’t stay quiet if a problem does arise. You’re in this together, so approach it like the team you are and have fun.

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