Stepping into a New Life: 5 Ways to Move Forward with Grace
By Carol McClelland Fields, PhD, BCC
You are finally ready to step into a new phase of your life. Perhaps you’ve landed a new job, started a new relationship, moved to a new area, or you are coming back to life after a divorce or the death of a loved one.
A part of you is filled with anticipation. This is exactly what you’ve been working toward for months, if not years. You are excited to see your vision coming to life, regardless of what is lost.
The other part of you is a bit freaked out! Will you be able to live up to expectations? Can you even do what you’ve said you want to do? Will you be able to accomplish what you set out to? How will you handle the parts that feel a bit scary or overwhelming?
This is a normal response to stepping into a whole new life. You are bound to have feelings of excitement mixed with trepidation. You may feel confident one minute and nervous the next. You may feel ready to take bold steps at the same time you are feeling a bit of fear about the firsts you are facing.
There are compassionate ways to support you as you move forward in your life:
- Trust your own timing. The path into your new life is yours, not anyone else’s. Pay attention to how you feel about your next steps. Don’t rush into action before you are ready. Listen to yourself and your own intuition, not your spouse, your friends, your parents, or social media influencers. Take action when you feel well-resourced and ready, even if you feel a few butterflies in your stomach.
- Be prepared to water the dirt. When you first embark on a project you’ve been dreaming about for a while, it’s common to expect big results right away. You want to see a payoff as soon as possible. That’s understandable, but not realistic. What shifts when you think of your new project as a seed that you’ve just planted in your garden. Would you expect to be able to harvest your crop the next day? No. At the beginning, focus on nurturing your new ways of life without expecting to harvest immediate results. Take the pressure off. Give yourself a chance to grow into your new life first.
- Have compassion for your ups and downs. When you start something new, you may experience some glitches, slow points, and unexpected detours along the way. Your confidence may ebb and flow. Your clarity may be in perfect focus one day and then fuzzy around the edges the next. This is perfectly normal! As you learn more about this new life you are creating for yourself, the path will become easier to follow.
- Focus on what will move you forward. During this journey, you will run across a number of distractions, concerns, and blocks. This is perfectly normal! The key is to stay focused on the very next step you need to take to move closer to your goal. Don’t worry about how this journey is going to unfold in the future. Don’t concern yourself if others around you have a different opinion. Don’t get anxious about your timing. If you wake up every day and think about the one thing you need to do to make progress that day, then over time you’ll build momentum and see the progress you are craving.
- Know what to do when you hit a bump. Whether you hit a pothole, bump into an obstacle, need to take a detour, or run into a dead end, remember that you have choices. Take a moment to explore various scenarios to see if there’s another way to reach your goal. Perhaps you can bypass the block in some way, go up and over it, or request support from a friend to find your way through. If you feel stuck or are procrastinating, remember that you have choices. Pinpoint the element of the situation that makes uncomfortable with. Is there a way to redefine the parameters, locate resources to give you a boost, or set up a different timeline for the task? Bumps are going to happen. It’s how you work with them to that contributes to your sense of progress.
As you become more comfortable with your new life, continue to learn, experiment, and stretch yourself. Over time you’ll find that you are maturing into your new scenario. You’ll feel more comfortable than you did just a few months ago. Your confidence will be steadier and more reliable. Your intuition and logic about what to do next will be more dependable.
With each step you take into your new life, you will continue to grow and evolve your vision of what you want and the life you are creating. Enjoy the journey.
Carol McClelland Fields, PhD, an award-winning author and Board Certified Coach, provides inspiration and practical support for those who are in the midst of transition. Embrace a compassionate relationship with change. Carol works with people globally, including professionals who work with clients in transition, as an emerging or seasoned coach, therapist, or other Change Catalyst. Download Carol’s eBook, Riding the Waves of Change: Growing, Healing, and Evolving Through Times of Deep Uncertainty at www.CarolMcClellandFields.com.
