"Not-Flix and Chill": 4 Screen-less Ways to Supercharge Your Relationship This Winter

As temperatures drop and darkness comes too early, I’m increasingly jealous of any species that gets to hibernate. Winter can be a rough time for many reasons, and without careful attention, it can take a toll on you and your most important relationships. However, adding a few simple habits to your daily routine can keep your romance blooming all winter long.

1. Evaluate Your Lifestyle and Identify Obstacles

Before getting down to details, use your daily routine as a lens for your priorities. How do you currently spend your time? Think about work, school, physical health, social life, technology, and anything else you value highly. You won’t just stumble on unscheduled time to spend with your significant other—you’ve got to improve your time management skills and create space for it.

That said, you may choose to start by improving the time you already spend together. If you’re always watching television, limiting your use or canceling an account can facilitate new and exciting connections with your partner. And if there's something you really want to watch, don't worry — you can join a third of the population and borrow a login from a friend.

2. Start a New Daily Ritual

Luckily, quality connections don’t always require a lot of time, and a new routine might be just the thing for you. There are question-a-day calendars, horoscopes, or daily tarot card readings, if you’re into that. You could pick a new podcast or follow a Twitter account that interests both of you. Quality doesn’t equate to quantity, and it only takes a few minutes to introduce new, engaging content into your conversations.

There are also some foundational rituals for couples that you may already be doing—simple things like eating meals together without technology and saying meaningful goodbyes. Similarly, physical contact and vulnerable conversations are daily routines that strengthen and lengthen your relationship.

3. Experience New and Old

If your relationship is struggling, try looking to the past together. Celebrate happy times you’ve had and revisit shared memories. Recreate special dates or activities, or get to know your partner on a new level by asking meaningful questions about their childhood. If it’s appropriate, ask your partner’s parents to spill embarrassing stories and show off old pictures of them. There are plenty of reasons to love your partner as they are now, and learning more about who they were in the past can add even more to that list.

Alternatively, you can revitalize your relationship by creating a future together. This doesn’t necessarily mean serious commitments—dreaming together is healthy and exciting.  Pull out that adventuresome bucket list you made in high school. Now is the time to bring your partner in on the fun and take up beatboxing, geocaching, or songwriting. Write a joint bucket list of winter activities to do together, then start checking them off!

4. Increase Quality Time with a Weekly Date

Now that you’ve got some ideas, make things easy for yourself by designating a time to accomplish them. Life is unpredictable, and some days your relationship may not get the time and attention it deserves. Having a regular date night to look forward to can keep you going on those long days.

Talk with your significant other and pick a time that’s convenient for both of you, then draw up some date night rules. Will you hire a babysitter for your kids? Agree to shelf the cell phones and spend your date technology-free? Who will plan the date and how much money are you comfortable spending each week? Planning time and establishing expectations for these weekly dates shows your commitment to your relationship.

Quality Relationships Take Quality Time

Each relationship has its unique struggles, strengths, and needs. The best thing you can do to strengthen yours is to talk with your partner about improving your relationship. Open discussions and planning, are, in themselves, quality time activities. In fact, one study found that “lack of joint planning with the relationship partner was associated with a 19% increase in the odds of divorce”.

Steer your relationship in the right direction by picking a small way to start—whether it’s longer hugs, less Netflix, or a care-free couples road trip. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even convince my partner to hibernate with me. A little effort goes a long way, and a healthy relationship can make a long winter into “the most wonderful time of the year.”