PRAYER, MEDITATION & HOMEGOODS

This week has been more challenging than most. I’m working, juggling kids, have a million errands to run etc. But I’ve stumbled upon a major revelation: an epiphany, actually. As a Personal Trainer and Fitness Coach, I’ve tried to incorporate the mind, body & spirit mentality, to get healthy and feel good, for life, not just to fit into that dress that needs to zip up asap for the big party next month. It’s always a side zipper too…yikes.

I’ve been sensing that my clients are running around like crazy – working, juggling kids, running a million errands…hmmm, sounds familiar. This week, I’ve seen tears, stress and anxiety. I was thinking of “my girls” and how important they are to me. I needed to help them. As I was standing in my utility closet in my studio, blindly staring at files, exercise balls and stacks of fitness magazines, I had an “aha moment.”

After years of intensive therapy and soul searching, I realized that prayer and meditation were in order. It’s always been very hard for me. I get extremely emotional and panicky just thinking about…thinking. I can’t concentrate. I feel guilty asking a higher power for strength and guidance when I have so many blessings in my life.

But as I stood in that room I felt a whoosh of excitement. I felt my Nana Mary in the space with me. I know that sounds kooky, but she was my best friend and even though she died when I was only nine, it seems like we shared a lifetime together. I heard her voice saying “You have my blessing to pray to me and to share the room with anyone who needs it.” At that very moment a song came on and I heard these words “Queen Mary she is my friend, I believe  I’ll go see her again…” I involuntarily dropped to my knees, prayed, had a good cry and headed straight to Homegoods.

I filled my cart with shells, Buddha statues, pillows and soulful treasures. I raced back home, grabbed my Nana’s handkerchief, my favorite rocks, ceramic gifts from my children and anything that brought me personal peace and joy. Within no time that dusty space filled with a lot of nothing, was now a peaceful, safe and transcendent meditation room. My utility closet was literally transformed into a place of utility: something useful or designed for use.

I called my Mom. She needed to be a part of this. Not only is she working, juggling kids and a million errands, but also caring for my frail Father, who’s battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

My first client used the space this morning after her training session. She was very apprehensive: terrified is a better description.I told her to take it slow. We entered the room together and sat on the comfy pillows stained with bohemian colors. The sun was peeking through the window. The Buddha and Blessed Mother statues, standing upright with hands in prayer, waited patiently to offer their spiritual services.

I gave her some options: she could just hang out, take everything in and be present in the moment; she could recite a mantra, a phrase repeated over and over again. Or she could pray to whomever she chose, whether it was God, Buddha or her beautiful Mother that she lost way too early. She chose the prayer and I secretly knew that she picked the latter of my options…perfect.

I told her to take three deep breaths. I told her that she was safe and I’d be right outside if she needed me. I asked her if she could sit through one song that I played outside the curtain, shielding her from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. She was ready.

After three or four minutes, the song ended. She didn’t emerge right away. To be honest, I was nervous. Maybe she slipped into some weird trance or I accidentally erased her memory. Thankfully, I could see her stand up through the sheer white curtain and out she came. She was quiet, she didn’t say much but she seemed okay. I think she muttered something like “Thank you that was great.”

An hour later I got a text from her. She sent me a picture of herself.  It was an unintentional self-portrait worthy of being painted by an artist on a huge canvas. For today, it was a technological “selfie” snapped with a fancy iphone. Chills ran up and down my body when I looked at her expression: calm, peaceful…happy.The text read, “I feel more at peace than I usually do…thanks for helping me find the way.”

Thanks Nana…from all of us.

Kelly Mitchell,CPT