Parenting on the Fly: The Joys of Holiday Air Travel

Ahhh, the joys of holiday air travel. So much to do before you leave, and add the stress of rushing around to the airport and through security. Then add potential stress of family conflict when you get there. Finally add your kids to this holiday cocktail and it can become an experiment in hair loss. So, just what can you do to keep your sanity and your hair line intact?

Many parents know and are prepared for the fact that many air travelers feel a sense of dread when they see infants and young children board a plane. Because of this, parents can be prepared for the worst instead of expecting the best. So just how can you make the most of this situation and make your holiday travel pleasurable for you, your children, and the passengers around you? Here are my Top Ten Tips and Tricks to help you parents out there on your flight.

1. Prepare your kids for the flight. Start to talk about air travel with your kids and what they should expect days in advance. Don't think your child is too young to understand what you are talking about. Try to point out pictures of planes in books, on television or movies, and let them know where their destination is and what they will be doing there. Children often need to be prepared for new events and/or change, and when they know what to expect, they often adapt to it quicker than if they were not prepared. Add the excitement of the holidays to this, and kids can be off the hook.

2. Bring your own snacks/drinks on your trip. And plenty of them. You never know when you may be delayed or stuck on the tarmac or at the gate and food / drink is not available. When your kids feel hungry, there is often no stopping their discomfort, and patience is not a virtue that many of your kids understand. However, on a trip I was able to discuss the concept of patience with my then 2 year-old daughter. She wanted get on the plane (unrelated to the food issue), but it was not time to board. She saw other people boarding and began to cry and plead to get on the plane. I talked about patience and waiting. I said that patience is when someone waits for something and they choose not to feel upset. She stopped crying and started saying "patience ... wait." The biggest disservice I feel we do with our children is to not believe that they can understand concepts. The second disservice is getting upset when we set our expectations too high.

3. Realize that you are taking your child out of their normal routine. Keep in mind how they respond to change in other situations involving change, and don't expect them to behave any differently. Be aware of your child's temperament (easy, slow to warm up, or difficult or any mix of the three), and know that even if they normally do behave well, they may react out of character when under stress.

4. Note that when you are under stress, your children are under stress. You cannot avoid this. Travel is rough enough, but visiting family can add to the undercurrent of your stress. Your children are often a mirror for you, whether you recognize it or not. In my work with children and families, I can confidently say that most of the time that children are having challenges, it is because the parents are also having challenges in some way. Check your own attitude and your feelings about traveling with your children before you leave, and check in with yourself or spouse many times throughout your flight, if necessary. If you are having a tough time with your stress, calmly let your kids know and be honest about it. If you know that you may feel stress before you take a flight, prepare yourself and prepare with different strategies to keep your kids and yourself cool.

5. Don't blame your kids for your stress. This is your stress, and even if they are doing things to contribute to how you're feeling, be careful not to take it out on them. When parents are in public situations, they're less likely to outwardly lose their temper, however som