Why most resolutions fail (and how to make yours stick)

Whether speaking to a group about nutrition, fitness, personal growth or some combination of the three, my talks are fundamentally about making a change. At some point in the presentation, I'll challenge my audience to make a decision - a resolution - to change. Positive change, yes; change that will improve health and well-being, yes; change that can bring about a whole new levels of success, yes; but, any change, even change for the better, is difficult for us humans.

Here is one important secret I share with my clients to make change as effortless as possible and to successfully move forward into the new experience you desire.

Success or lack-of-success with New Year's resolutions depend upon the intent you hold when you make your resolution. If your intent is rooted in moving away from or eliminating a situation or circumstance that you perceive as negative you will have a very low success rate. Consider the following statements:

"Starting January 1, I'm going to lose this fat once and for all!"

"I'm breaking up with my girlfriend because I don't want to be in a relationship with someone so selfish."

"This year, I'm finding a new job because I just can't take the stress."

"I'm going to eat more fruits and vegetables every day, because I want to prevent the cancer that is in my family."

On the surface, these may appear perfectly normal resolutions - and they are - and studies show that the rate of "success" of these typical resolutions is slim to none.

Closer inspection reveals the problem. The intent and focus of the statement is on "getting away from" a circumstance rather than "moving towards" a chosen new experience.

You may have heard the expression, "What you resist, persists." New Year's resolutions made from a mindset of resistance to what is are doomed to struggle and eventually failure. You simply don't have enough "will-power" to over rule your subconscious mind's capacity to give you exactly what you focus on (want it or not).

The statements above can all be reconfigured to work for you instead of against you. Key to this process is full acceptance of what is now - the fat, the bad relationship, the job, the potential for disease - loving all of it because without it you would not know that you desire to grow into a new experience.

You can trigger the patterns of success by making resolutions from a state of positive expectation:

"I'm so excited about how energized I'll feel as I exercise everyday."

"I'm entering into a new generous relationship with myself and everyone I love."

"I'm open to a new work opportunity that fits perfectly with my values."

"I choose to eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables everyday to make every cell in my body as vibrant and energized as possible!"

And remember: you're awesome and you deserve the best! Happy New Year!