How To Fix Your Self-Image in 60 Seconds
Like it or not, we live in a society that promotes superficial, unrealistic beauty ideals. That’s both good news and bad. The good news is that such a perspective creates lots of choices that can help you be your most healthy, best self. The bad news is that some people take it too far and try to conform to beauty ideals that are truly unrealistic and may actually harm their relationships, financial resources, or their emotional or physical health.
Where does all this pressure come from and what can we do make sure we only adopt attitudes about our appearance that are healthy for us?
The first part of the question is easy to answer. All forms of media strive to tie a value judgement to a person based on the way they look. Such comparisons range from ultra thinness or super-fit physiques, to symmetrical features, and unblemished skin. Height, body proportion, foot and hand shapes are also part of the body spotlight. Unhealthy focus on our outward appearance is so invasive that according to the gospel of the fashion and beauty world, if your measurements do not correspond with those of the models shown in slick magazine ads, you are encouraged to detest your appearance and feel ridiculed or at least embarrassed.
It’s not just the media promoting “what’s trending” that creates the immense pressure to conform. Further pressure comes from the industries that benefit the most financially—clothing, cosmetics, hair and nails care, fitness, and dieting—whose revenue depends on people not being satisfied with the way they look. TV commercials and print ads target the vulnerable with a message that having the “right” looks, will most likely bestow money, success, and happiness.
The adulation of celebrities and models conforming to ideal body types creates intense pressure on fans to copy those "perfect" looks. Women and men photographed on the red carpet look flawless, and people who will never attend a premiere or be subjects of a photo shoot want to look like them. Even though it may be Photoshop® that ensures the starlet has no facial flaws and fits into a skintight designer gown with no visible superfluous fat, it’s the resulting image—online, in magazines and newspapers—that influences viewers to have unrealistic body image attitudes. It's not just women who are the targets. The same effect is achieved when the hunky hollywood star is photographed cavorting on a beach sporting a perfect “six-pack” of tanned abs.
As said earlier, there’s good news and bad news. This article is not aimed at the people who are able to sort and choose from the myriad of products and/or cosmetic surgery options available to them and still maintain a healthy self-image for themselves. Clearly those people fall into the category where choices and comparisons can be viewed as good news. This article is aimed at those people who either are, or who know someone whose life is centered around the creation of an unhealthy, unrealistic self-image. That’s the bad news. So who are these people whose attitudes are impacted by these improbable standards, and what harm might this compulsive body idealism really do?
For starters, the perception that only women and teenage girls experience body image issues is false. While it’s true that females with distorted body images are more likely to suffer from the eating disorders anorexia or bulimia, men also endure body image distress.
Male concern generally centers on baldness and body shape. Men agonize over beer bellies, “man boobs” and losing their hair, and they, like women, may exercise compulsively, try diet fads or laxative abuse in an attempt to reshape their physiques. In fact, it was found that 38% of the men surveyed for a research study conducted by the University of the West of England in 2012 would willingly sacrifice a year of their life to have the “perfect” body!
Distorted body image is dangerous because it can severely influence a person’s behavior. They can become obsessed with correcting their body’s perceived shortcomings to the abandonment of balance in their lives. Instead of a life filled with success in the five areas of a balanced life: social, spiritual, mental wellness, physical wellness, and a healthy lifestyle, they focus primarily on their body image. It can even go so far, that individuals whose perception of their body type doesn’t match reality may be unable to overcome their self-image of imagined flaws without psychological intervention.
This danger extends to teens and “tweens” who are at the stage in life when these young people are hypersensitive in comparing themselves to peers and role models. Both girls and boys worry about their skin, hair, body size and shape, and whether they are attractive to others. Boys who mistakenly see themselves as skinny may resort to taking risky steroids in an attempt to beef up. They, as well as girls who feel "not pretty" (and body image is based on feeling, not fact) are likely to suffer low self-esteem and become depressed.
When taken to the extreme, distorted body image becomes body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), defined by the manual for mental health professionals as “…a disorder marked by excessive preoccupation with an imaginary or minor defect in a facial feature or localized part of the body.” People suffering from BDD spend inordinate amounts of time obsessing about imaginary imperfections, often to the deterioration of their school, work, family or social activities.
The 60-Second Fix:
So, if we find ourselves caught up in obsessing about our body image, what can we do to help ourselves keep the barrage of messages defining beauty and desired body image in the right perspective?
Stand by. Here it comes....Name 2-3 people in your life who you truly care about. Now, focus on 6-10 things you value about those people. Of those admired attributes, you’ll find, perhaps surprisingly, that most are based on character and behavior rather than physical appearance. Bingo!
Now you realize that how they look isn’t why they matter to you. Let this be the wake-up call that places your own appearance into proper perspective. People you love and admire are important to you for reasons way beyond how they look. You too are equally important to them for at least 6-10 reasons that have little to do with how you look as well.
Use this exercise to start yourself on a healthier self-image path. When you spend more time thinking positively and lovingly about the admirable qualities of others (don't forget to include yourself) rather than primarily focusing on how they or you appear, magic happens. Your attitude towards yourself---your self image---will change. When that happens....and it's pretty instant, your perspective will broaden beyond the superficiality of appearance. You will have gained the right perspective to improve all five areas of your life. This is the beginning of a profound change. By continuing to look at yourself and your purpose in the world through a broader lens than appearance, you’ll be on your way to leaving your old world of self-image dissatisfaction and creating a more fulfilling life reflecting your entire unique and extraordinary self.
Selected Sources
http://albertellis.org/body-image-issues/
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/body_image/body_image.html
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