Many years ago. Around 1985-86 my wife and I were going through a troubling time in our marriage. Familytime counselling helped us survive and we just celebrated 49 years married. I don't recall our counselors name but I've never forgotten her calm parting words to me, " you can only get as mad as you want." Although it did take a few more months for me to realize how true and life changing they were. I have repeated that many times to my children and grandchildren.