Home For the Holidays (again!)

How do you deal with the Holidays? It's that special time of year where you should feel ......and you have..... You get to make the list I should feel happy I should feel joy, I should have more money for a better gift ....And then you are in a room where frankly you're rubbing elbows with people you have avoided all year. You avoid them because they ask you. Why aren't you married, when are you having children and then what do you do for a living again? How can you make a living doing that? It's the holiday season and you're not sitting with the Cratchetts! So how do you get through it?



Well lets start with it's not that bad and there is something you can do about it. The beauty of life is not based on what you have it is based on how you interact with it.

Stay in you're comfort zone

Let's face it things feel scary out there. It is hard to hear the news chanting we are heading for a financial cliff every day. Don't spend to impress. Stay in a price range where you can breathe. A present is a gesture to show someone you love them. It doesn't mean you love them less if you can not afford something. If you are concerned that your children will not understand this it's time to give them the gift of a financial education. And I mean do your research and create several lessons, it is not just "mommy and daddy can't afford this". Give them a take away for the rest of their lives (and a toy)

I Should.....

Why don't I feel happier? Not being happy is not a problem not using the unhappiness is. When you feel like something isn't right notice it. Look at what you think you are lacking. Talk it out. Write it down. Then if it still seems important create an action plan to get it. If you don't know how talk to people who could advice you. Pain is great it means you need to stretch yourself. Stop shoulding all over yourself! Instead learn a new song

Could be who knows?

There something due any day

I will know right away

If you aren't singing this song in your head Google it!

Pick, poke and pry

My family believes they don't have to use manners with each other because "We're Family!" I don't believe that in fact I think just the opposite. I think you should treat the people closest to you with as much, courtesy, respect and kindness as possible. And I have politely answered questions and when it got a rude I have said I am not answering that. And when they have persisted I just would repeat it. Now this was not well received. And I had to persist and over the years it has mellowed out some of the most cutting remarks. Over the years I have surrounded myself with like minded people who have become my allies in this. It isn't always easy but it is effective in the long run.

www.nycpsychotherapist.org
Heidi Seifert is a psychotherapist in NYC. Depression Counseling , Anxiety Counseling and Couples Counseling