How to Manage Anger? Be Flexible!

We all can have moments in our lives and situations in which we lose it. We can find ourselves in the cycle of the three Rs: Reactivity, Rage outburst, then Regret. Our challenge to respond differently than with the three Rs is becoming harder given the fast paced, high anxiety ways we live in modern society.

Two ways that we try to keep pace during our typical hectic day-to-day lives are to: 

1 - Speed up (rush, multitask, put too much on our schedules)

2- need to have things go a certain way ('there better not be traffic to work this morning', 'my boss better give me the raise I ask for')

There are many useful tips out there for managing our anger. Here are two to add the mix for you to try next time you want to yell at your partner because she/he is not doing something in thee way you want things to go, or next time you want to run over the car next to you who keeps cutting you off:

1- Slow down. This is hard to do in our fast-paced culture, but do whatever it takes: breathe deeply three times, take 10 seconds of mediation, or put yourself on a time out. In this way you can get some perspective on things and respond to what is going one versus react.

2-Be Flexible. Remember that things often do not go how your script in your head wants them to and that's fine. Don't be so attached to having your ride to work needing to go a certain way or your conversation with your partner needing to turn out the way you thought it should. Going with the flow is a tremendously helpful way to not only give up unnecessary anger but to create space for curiosity and playfulness.

I gave up my road rage by deciding to smile and wave vigorously at all the nasty drivers around me. This is much funner than the alternative, for me and the other drivers.