5 Strategies to Detoxify Your Relationships, Overcome Emotional Eating, and Find Lasting Love

Have you ever felt like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, trying to please someone who seems impossible to satisfy? Toxic relationships can make us feel trapped and powerless, pushing us to seek comfort in unhealthy ways. We might stuff down our emotions by eating chocolate, downing a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, or ordering pizza.

Think about the times you've turned to food after a heated argument or a stressful encounter—emotional eating is a negative coping strategy that helps us manage our emotions or distract from what’s eating at us. Let’s look at how toxic relationships drive us to these behaviors and discover healthier ways to reclaim peace and happiness.

How to Identify a Toxic Person

In toxic dynamics you often try to make the other person happy, often at your own expense. Here are some examples of toxic relationship patterns:

• Constant Criticism: Your partner constantly points out your flaws and rarely gives you positive feedback, eroding your self-esteem over time.
• Controlling Behavior: Your partner tries to control your actions, limiting your independence.
• Gaslighting: Your partner denies things they said or did, making you doubt your memory and perception of reality.
• Isolation: Your partner discourages you from seeing friends and family, cutting you off from your support network.
• Jealousy and Possessiveness: Your partner gets excessively jealous and constantly accuses you of being unfaithful.
• Frequent Mood Swings: Your partner’s mood changes unpredictably, creating an unstable environment.
• Emotional Blackmail: Your partner uses threats or ultimatums to get their way.
• Disrespectful Communication: Your partner speaks to you in a condescending or dismissive manner.

When we're in these relationships, we often feel drained, anxious, or depressed. It’s easy to seek comfort in unhealthy habits like emotional eating to soothe ourselves, numb our pain, fill an emotional void, or distract ourselves from a difficult truth.

Steps to Take When Dealing with a Toxic Relationship

You don’t have to tolerate an unhealthy relationship. Consider taking these steps:

1. Recognize the Pattern: Awareness is the first step. Notice when you're turning to a negative coping strategy in response to relationship stress. Journaling your feelings and behaviors can help identify patterns and triggers.
2. Address the Root Cause: Work on setting boundaries or, if necessary, consider whether the relationship is worth maintaining.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Healing takes time, so give yourself what you need as you recover from emotional wounds.

Signs of a Great Relationship

1. How You Feel: Consider how you feel when you are with your partner. Do you feel safe, valued, and cherished, or often anxious, undervalued, or stressed? Positive signs include feeling happy, supported, and understood. Your partner’s presence should bring comfort and joy, allowing you to be your true self without fear of judgment.
2. Bringing Out the Best in You: Assess whether your partner brings out the best in you. A healthy relationship should make you feel like the best version of yourself. Positive signs include your partner motivating you to pursue your goals, celebrating your achievements, and supporting you through challenges.
3. Mutual Respect: Evaluate whether you truly respect your partner. Respect is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Positive signs include admiring your partner’s qualities, values, and actions. Respecting each other’s differences and valuing each other’s opinions are integral parts of your relationship.

By considering how you feel with your partner, whether they bring out the best in you, and if you respect them, you can get real insights into the health of your relationship. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who nurtures your well-being, encourages your growth. The best relationships are built on mutual respect and love.

Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin is a renowned author and podcast host and one of the nation’s leading psychoanalysts known for the psychology of eating. Her signature message, “It’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating ‘at’ you,” has resonated with hundreds of thousands of listeners from around the globe in 50 countries. As founder of The Binge Cure Method, she guides emotional eaters to create lasting food freedom so they can take back control of their lives and feel good in their bodies.