Improve Your Attitude by Checking Your Assumptions
Have you ever heard someone mumbling something aloud and thought they were saying something to you? Perhaps you even replied, “What?” or “I didn’t hear you. Can you repeat that?” only to have them tell you that they were talking to themselves. The truth is, we all talk to ourselves; some of us just speak aloud while others do it quietly in their mind. Have you ever evaluated your own self-talk? If not, you might want to begin because doing so can greatly assist your ability to succeed in your endeavors.
We all ask ourselves questions. How we ask our questions is key to creating an attitude that overcomes problems or hinders us from personal achievements.
Consider the following three questions many people have asked themselves:
- Why can’t I ever lose weight and keep it off?
- Why do things like this always happen to me?
- Who in their right mind would ever do that?
These types of self-questions can be harmful to our success due to the inherent assumptions within them. If we seek to improve our attitudes and therefore our mindsets to achieve, we have to ask questions with positive assumptions rather than ones that can hold us back. By doing so, we will begin to place ourselves in frames of mind that assist us with overcoming rather than ones that serve to hold us back.
Take question number one for example: The assumption made with this question is that I am incapable of winning the “Battle of the Bulge.” Is that actually true? Many people have posted stories of how they changed their diets and daily routines to lose some weight and become healthier, gain more energy, and look their best. If others can do it, you can too. Why not change your question concerning weight loss to one like this: “What are two daily changes I can make that I know will help me lose weight?” Both questions concern weight loss, but the latter question assumes you are in control, whereas the former assumes no matter what you do, you have no control over your weight.
Question number two assumes challenges in life often or only occur in your life. Even a brief review of reality should tell us that this just isn’t true. Life is hard, and everyone goes through similar challenges. The context of challenges is what changes, not the fact that challenges occur. When storms arrive in our lives, they aren’t always to hinder us. Some storms actually clear out a path for us to walk and see more clearly. Instead of assuming you have bad luck, are cursed, or have the proverbial “black cloud” over your head, instead ask yourself the following question: “Now that I’ve been laid off, what companies can I move to where symbiotic growth and prosperity can occur?” Is it possible that a loss of job enables you to get out of a rut and move on to something grander, more rewarding, or one that empowers you to use indistinct skills you never thought you possessed?
Let’s move to question number three now. What is the assumption? This question assumes that someone who chooses to do something different than you would is not thinking well. This question is accusatory rather than empowering. An empowering question would be, “That person obviously perceives (the circumstance) differently than I do. What can I quickly learn from their choice?” Asking a question regarding someone else’s choice is still on the table, but one avoids pride and instead humbly places oneself in a position to learn. We all can agree that none of us knows everything, so why not ask ourselves questions that build knowledge rather than piling up negative pride?
Many researchers have proven in numerous studies that our attitudes are integral in our realization of what we desire. Attitudes are based on assumptions. It’s easy to tell ourselves that we will change our attitudes, but we will likely fail if we don’t first consider our assumptions. Self-questioning is good because it helps us self-identify, but identifying our assumptions places us in a position to separate facts from fiction and ask better questions. Asking ourselves better questions will radically promote our ability to achieve and overcome because it will raise our expectations, and people usually rise to meet whatever expectations are placed on them. Even ones we place on ourselves.
Dr. Anthony is a cancer-survivor, secondary administrator, author, speaker, and advocate for wise living. He is the author of Finite Obstacles ~ Infinite Truth. He adds value to others’ lives by teaching people how to overcome challenges, how to lead with grace and accountability, and by advocating for wise choices based on truth. Learn more at www.DrRobAnthony.com and www.linkedin.com/in/dr-rob-anthony.
