Overcoming Overwhelm

Most of the Moms I speak to talk about being overwhelmed, by parenting, career, home, life in general, you name it. There’s always something and it seeps into everything. A little bit of overwhelm goes a long way – kind of like that pink spot in The Cat in the Hat Returns by Dr. Seuss where first it’s on the tub, then it’s on the dress, and suddenly, it’s everywhere! All the while the kids are freaking out about what Mom will say, running around, and trying to get it out. Replace pink spot with overwhelm and Mom with everyone and it sounds familiar, right?

So, if you’re not going to run around trying to make it better, what do you do?

Let’s start with a reminder that anytime you’re growing, you will meet resistance. Becoming and being a Mom is like taking a permanent step outside of your comfort zone. Just because reproduction is natural doesn’t change this. It is NORMAL to feel stressed out! The problem is in how we frame it as a problem to hide, to deny, to avoid, to fight.

You could run away (if you’re reading this you may have thought about it, though you know you never would), you could fight to make things comfortable again (running around after the pink spot), or you could lean into it and learn to get comfortable with the discomfort of growing.

How do you lean in?

You accept your responsibility - your ability to respond – and you choose your action. You choose as consciously and lovingly as you can in every moment knowing that you are doing the best you can in that moment and that is good enough – YOU are good enough.

That Motherhood Roadmap we all thought we’d get upon becoming a Mom DOES exist. It is inside you, the trick is that you have to create it. It’s like life, everyone’s is totally unique and you can’t see what’s around the bend but every step prepares you for the next whether you realize it or not. It appears as you journey and YOU choose.

A state of overwhelm is characterized by avoidance. Remember that not choosing is also a choice but it usually results in disappointment because you have given your power away. Decide to choose, to take action, however small. There is no right or wrong. Just make the most loving choice you can and know that you’ll figure it out.

Here are 3 things to help you get started:

1. Motivation: The map you create becomes the foundation for how your child creates their map, not WHAT they create but HOW they create it. So don’t ask yourself if you want your child to have to handle this situation. Ask yourself, “How do I want to teach my child to handle this situation?”
2. Knowledge: Your thoughts generate your emotions that lead to the action you take. This creates the cycle of who you think you are that creates what you feel, which then informs how you act. How you act then reaffirms who you think you are and so on. These patterns are often unconscious.
3. Action: Ask yourself: “What am I thinking about myself/that person/this situation?” and then “What do I want to think? / What will create the feeling and action I want to have around this?”